TAKING OUT Swoop Insurance for a mob of magpies has proved to be a wise move for local homeowner Kim McHannigan.
With Spring well and truly sprung in the region, residents have already begun donning bike helmets adorned with zip ties and ice cream containers with eyes and other decorations in a bid to deter the kamikazi-ing black and white avian army.
Routinely mauraded by a pack of resident magpies, things really hit a turning point for McHannigan after she was bailed up by six of them in her kitchen one morning.
“I dunno how, but these hungry fellas figured out how to use the doggy-door and busted their way into the house,” she said.
“They were after some tucker but they were too busy holding me hostage way too far from the fridge. The negotiations were insane.”
Intensely recalling the apparently ‘hectic’ situation, McHannigan decided promptly that Swoop Insurance was needed.
“Yeah, like you just try and be friends with ’em and give ’em food and stuff so they stop swooping you or pestering you for grub. They’re just trying to look after their little ones up in the nest, doesn’t really help you out, but,” McHannigan said.
“Apparently mince is real bad, doesn’t have enough calcium and can get stuck and rot their beak out, but a bit of dog food or some insects goes down alright!”
With dog food the ‘payment’ of choice, next step is getting the home’s dog on board.
The magpies were reached for comment, but declined, instead swooping and pecking out the eye of our reporter who remains in a stable condition in hospital.
The Absent Beer 